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25April
Answer 1 - I remember that when I wanted a vibrator I was nervous to announce it to my husband. Mostly for fear he would feel intimidated or look at me differently but when we actually spoke about it he was really into it and loved the idea of us exploring his together. Now we have the most amazing sex and we have a bunch of toys we make it a point to try everything we want together and to voice suggestions or if something is working or not working sexually to satisfy us. We have been together 5 yrs have 3 kids and have sex better than when we just started out. Voice your concerns if there are any. Bring it up casually and go from there. Best thing you can do is relax and take it little by little and start off with small things then work your way up. Start with a cock ring or a finger massager then move up to bigger vibrators fildos and what not. Just have fun. It's worked out great for us.
Answer 2 - My suggestion would be to talk about it first to make sure you both want the same thing and what you want from your toy. Then buy just one and try it. My guess is you will both like using it and eventually will buy more. That's how my husband and I started. First it was a dildo and now we're on to many variations. To us, toys add to our sex and turn both of us on. My vibrator and dildo are great when my husband isn't in the mood. Start with something inexpensive in case you don't like it.
Answer 3 - I think it's a great way to spice up a sex life - alone or with a partner. Sometimes a little self-confidence needs to be boosted but just present it as an addition to what you already have not as a filler to something missing. Once you start experimenting together, the possibilities are endless and so so fun !!!
Answer 4 - I agree, the anxiety for me was overwhelming because I didn't want to hurt my previous partner's feelings. As much as I wanted to use a vibrator when I was having sex with my previous partner, he said that it made him feel like he "wasn't enough." I wish I had explained wanting to use toys does not mean the person is not "enough", but I as well as many other women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm most of the time. I wish I would have continued the discussion and sought answers like you are doing.
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13June
Oral Sex - I want to pleasure my lover orally, she has only allowed this very (very)infrequent. Regarding those infrequencies, she has climaxed and enjoyed. However it seems to be the 'dirty' stigma she has attached. Not a problem to me, I want to provide enjoyment.
Posted by Chaney5553 comment(s)
Answer 1 - Something you could try if she thinks it's dirty or gross because she's afraid you'll be turned off to the way she tastes or smells it so ask her if she wants to take a shower with you. Then, she will feel squeaky clean and ready to get down to business--maybe even right there in the shower!
Answer 2 - Sadly, many women struggle with the feeling that their is something dirty about their genital and hence about oral sex. She may be incorrectly afraid that you find it unappealing even though you clearly don't. Be clear to her that you like her smell, her taste and that you find giving her oral sex totally arousing. She may find that bathing beforehand gives her a feeling of cleanliness, even though it is of course unnecessary. You might try having a bath together and then some oral sex.
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13June
Clitoral Stimulation - Is oral the best was to stimulate the clitoris and help her to orgasm? What other methods are good for stimulating her clitoris?
Posted by Chaney5553 comment(s)
Answer 1 - Well I have to admit I am somewhat biased towards oral sex, as it gives guys a connection and a degree of control that is often hard to achieve during intercourse -- but manual stimulation is also great, and K-Y, has a product called Intense that you may want to try -- place a couple of drops on the clitoris for some added intensity. Or you might want to try a vibe, or just let her get on top during intercourse, as many women say that that's the position that provides the most clitoral stimulation. Viva la Vulva!
Answer 2 - Women vary so much - what works great for one woman might turn out to be irritating or even painful for another - so you need to learn what works for the specific woman in question. Oral is fabulous for lots of women, but some women require MORE sensation than a tongue or mouth can provide.
If you do manual, lube is really VERY important. Her own lubrication may be enough, but sometimes it's not, even if she is highly aroused. Also, be sure not to START with the clitoris. Like an oven, the vulva needs to be preheated, which means good old fashioned kissing and caressing and breast touching and let's not forget the inner thighs. Work your way gradually toward her vulva - she should be turned on BEFORE you touch her genitals.
So glad to hear a guy asking about ways to stimulate the clitoris! We get a little penetration-focused as a culture, so I'm super-psyched that you're paying attention to other things you can do
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So babe, why are you so frigid?- A serious obstacle to relationship
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- I have high libido... she, not so much
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